*after usual pleasantries*
Them: Sir, I’m calling to say you have a virus on your computer
Me: Well, this is a new scam, but you’ve got my attention, tell me more…
(no, that’s not an annotation, I actually said that to him)
He ignores that and presses on further
Them: We’ve detected a virus and we’d like to show you
Me: Really? Can you tell me my IP address? My operating system?
Them: If you can turn on your computer for me
Me: Yep, it’s on already, but I’m sure you can detect that. You really don’t give up, do you…
(insert several minutes here as I waste a bit of time while cooking lunch - he’s trying to get me to do the whole “OMG the teddy bear icon in your system directory is a virus!" trick I assume. Normally I’m curt but polite with telemarketers, but when they’re trying to scam me, that’s a different story)
Them: Okay, when you right click on “my computer” what does it say?
Me: Oh it shows me lots of letters and numbers, it’s very pretty
Them: Sir, I’m going to transfer you over to my supervisor
Me: You do that *click*